


Angel with a Phone in Hand

by gabrielsingskaraoke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielsingskaraoke/pseuds/gabrielsingskaraoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>repost, previously under lokilith</p>
<p>Canon compliant scene from Cas' point of view, following Dean leaving Sam & Cas on the bridge in 9x10.</p>
<p>"     Sam had laughed in that way that made Castiel feel like he was missing something. He didn’t ask what. He just felt thankful that Sam could still smile that way, still crinkle his eyes. It wasn’t as fond, not as full-bodied joyful, as the smiles he could pull from Dean. It was beautiful in its own way. It left Castiel content enough to get into his car and drive away.</p>
<p>     And now, he was sitting in the car, staring at the phone."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angel with a Phone in Hand

     Castiel looked at the phone in his hand.

     Sam had asked him to call. “If you need anything, Cas. If you find something. Just… let me know.”

     Cas had agreed, eyes already caught staring at the door to the bunker. Wondering if maybe Dean would walk in – just in time to say goodbye or to offer aid or…

     Or what? Ask him to stay?

     It was better this way. No one had walked in, and Castiel had walked out.

 

     He’d offered to leave Sam the car.

     Sam had laughed in that way that made Castiel feel like he was missing something. He didn’t ask what. He just felt thankful that Sam could still smile that way, still crinkle his eyes. It wasn’t as fond, not as full-bodied joyful, as the smiles he could pull from Dean. It was beautiful in its own way. It left Castiel content enough to get into his car and drive away.

     And now, he was sitting in the car, staring at the phone.

     He should call Sam. He’d promised Dean to watch over him.

     Sam hadn’t known, of course. A silent prayer thrown into the winds over the bridge, when Dean couldn’t even turn around.

     Cas had tried not to react. Not to let Sam know. That, even as they stood together on the bridge, his brother’s words of parting were a prayer to Castiel.

     Dean hadn’t asked him not to say anything. He had shown him. In the line of his shoulders and the sharpness of his steps. It was meant to be a secret. One of many left holding the Winchesters down and pulling them apart.

      _Keep him safe, Cas_. The words still spun through his consciousness, perfectly recorded in the memory of his stolen grace.

      _Watch over Sammy. Do better than I did._

     Followed by a last, final, desperate  _Please_.

     And then silence.

     Broken once, as Sam had wrapped his arms around Castiel’s frozen form.  _I’m Sorry_. Cas had played it off – Sam wouldn’t be surprised to think that he might not know how to hug. He did. He had hugged Bobby, Dean, April, Daphne, even Benny in a fit of surprise neither of them had ever acknowledged again.

     He had simply… frozen. Why would Dean be apologizing? Why now? Why to him? It was Sam who needed to hear those words, Dean knew that. He had made certain that Dean understood things were okay between them. Both a little dumb, perhaps a little ass, but mostly trusting. Trusting, together.

     Was that prayer a secret too?

     Castiel wasn’t sure. He’d kept it from Sam. Yet, the longer Dean went without a new prayer… Dean was alive. He knew that. He would feel if he were not. He would know, wouldn’t he? Isn’t that what their bond meant?

     What if he was wrong? Castiel could feel the pulse of foreign Grace humming within his vessel, within Jimmy. It could be dimming the bond. It could be misleading him. He… he could be wrong.

     His eyes drifted back over to the phone, sitting in his lap. His finger was hovering over SEND, Sam’s name highlighted.

     He could barely remember pressing the buttons to bring him there.

     No. He would know, he decided, tossing the phone on the seat beside him. Keeping Dean’s trust, his secrets, was more important. He would know if they needed to be broken.

      Castiel started the car, with a turn of the keys just slightly too hard. He could hear the plastic moan against metal against the molecules shifting. He could hear the bend of the keys and the spark it initiated. He could calculate that three more turns at that degree of intensity would crack the key’s form. Two more and it would break off in the keyhole. He knew this.

      He could smell the rain falling three states over. Feel the shifting of the atmosphere as it moved closer to him.

     He would know if something was wrong.

     That doesn’t stop him from feeling the edges of what might be panic, had it not been clouded over by Grace.

     It doesn’t stop him from clearing his throat to hide the shake of his voice as he answers the phone before it has the chance to finish the first ring. “Hello Sam.”

     “Hey Cas, umm - ”

     “What is it?”

     “Are you busy?”

     Before the Fall, Cas would have said Yes, Sam, of course. Sam knew what was at stake. How little time they had to waste. He needed to find Metatron, Gadreel, Abaddon, and they needed them found yesterday. There were plans to form and strategies and angels to seek out for aid in the upcoming war. Because that’s where it was. That’s where it was headed. They were at war.

     Now, things had changed.

     Cas sighed and leaned back into the seat. His wings twitched, feeling the pressure of the car’s form even as they manifested on a different plane. He ignored the sensation, remembering what it had been like to be free of their weight, to exist solely on this plane. He caught himself, falling to quickly into comfort at the sound of a Winchester’s voice.

     “I am never too busy for the Winchesters.” Castiel added a smirk. Sam couldn’t see it, but he hoped the emotion might come across.

     “Yeah, thanks Cas. Uh..”

      “Just ask, Sam.”

     “What do you know about the Mark of Cain?”

     Castiel’s smirk was gone. He could feel his wings twitch, begging him to release them and fly to Sam’s side. His grace pulsed; his hands gripped the phone white. He wanted to fight and pulse and…

     “Why” He bit out. He had to stay calm. He had to help Sam. He’d promised.

     “It’s… about Dean.” _I’m Sorry_. His memory supplied, unbidden.

     Castiel felt pain. He didn’t hear another word Sam said. He was lost in the ache of his chest and the weariness in his bones, as if the age of the vessel could wear him thin. Idly, he wondered how much greater this feeling could have been, uncushioned by the haze of this damned Grace.


End file.
